Wednesday, August 15, 2018
Repairing a Strained Relationship Between Bid Teams
Updated September 2026: in 2018 I wrote about a bid where another team, burned by earlier experiences with our difficult delivery expert, avoided us, and the expert's demands for clarification mails caused more friction. I have rewritten it into advice on repairing a strained relationship between bid teams.
I was assigned another bid with the same difficult expert and was already worried. The other team on the bid, after bad experiences on earlier bids, simply ignored us and sent a short mail asking my team for our questions. The expert again made a fuss, and I worked hard to draft a few questions from my own understanding. He then created problems about sending clarification mails, so I wrote to the other team, who had already raised the same concern. They replied as diplomatically as possible, clearly tired of answering what they saw as pointless questions from him.
How do bad experiences between teams spread?
One person's behaviour becomes the team's reputation. After a few bids, the other side stops engaging and communicates only in the minimum formal way, which makes every bid harder.
How do you rebuild trust with another team?
- Make contact yourself: a short call, separate from the difficult person.
- Check before sending questions: avoid repeating what they already asked.
- Be precise and brief: in every mail you send.
- Thank them for answers: it matters more than it seems.
How do you handle an expert who creates friction?
Channel their questions through you, filter duplicates, and send one consolidated list. Keep your manager aware of the pattern, as it affects every bid on the account.
Should you apologise for someone else's behaviour?
You can acknowledge that earlier bids were difficult without blaming anyone by name. Focusing on how this bid will run differently is more useful.
What is the lesson?
Relationships between teams are built one mail at a time. Careful communication can repair what one person's manner damaged.
What can a manager do?
Agree with the other team's manager how questions will flow on future bids, and who speaks for each side. A simple agreement at that level takes pressure off the people doing the work.